[Devils-list] Pens...Devils...double your whining....double your lines :)

[DevAngel Publishing]

the CRASHER line
===============
     Well since Mario Lemieux is coming back to town it's of COURSE time
to immediately FORGET everything good the Devils have done in the last
3 weeks and immediately begin to bow and worship the high holy Penguins :p
....but then again I never was one for doing what I was supposed to and
when I look at a team for the playoffs I don't look at what you HAVE....I
look at what you DON'T have...since that's how teams end up being you
in a 7-game series....and the Pens prolly have MORE "don't" than any of
the other 16 (or 18 if you count the 2 races for the 8-seed) teams in playoff
contention....so let's just get to this one eh ?? :)

Pre-Game Notes:
==============
-- well this is one team you can GUARANTEE you won't see the Beezer
    against since no one has scored more goals on the Beez then Mary-O
    himself....but I felt like pointing it out :)
-- ok this is JUST BIZARRE....not only have the Pens SCORED 66 goals
    on the power play....they've ALLOWED 66 while trying to kill off power 
plays
    that's just freaky !!
-- Pittsburgh is in sole possession of sixth place, three points behind 
Buffalo and
     one point ahead of Toronto.....so as much as people seem to think so 
NOTHING
     is guaranteed in Pittsburgh quite yet :)
-- The Devils extended their club-record winning streak to 13 games on Friday
      with a 4-0 blanking of the Vancouver Canucks. The 13-game run matches 
the
      fourth longest in NHL history and is four off the record set by the 
Pittsburgh
      Penguins in 1993. The Devils host Pittsburgh on Sunday. "Nobody mentions
      it. It's great to have but it is secondary to us playing well and 
winning the
      hockey game," coach Larry Robinson said. ...and a good perspective 
considering
      the games ain't for REAL till 3 weeks from now !!!
-- hey someone answered one of the things I was wondering about 
:).....After building
     a 4-0 lead after two periods, the Devils managed just one shot in the 
final 20
     minutes. New Jersey has not gone shotless in a period since January 7, 
1983
     against Boston.
-- as for the other thing I asked...the last Devils backup to get a shut 
out....
    Chris Terreri in St Louis....back in the days when we could get useful 
things
    out of that city without resorting to brutally cruel wisecracks :p
-- and as expected last night...once again the Catholic School team simply
    PUMMELLED the public school team in the NJ HS Finals....it was scoreless
    for the first period (with maybe 150 hits between the 2 teams...I LOVE HS
    hockey *G*) , but it was over FAST in the 2nd with Bergen Catholic scoring
    twice on their first three shots and not looking back to romp 8-1 and once
    again not only assuring my child if he has ANY dreams of hockey stardom
    to be going to a Catholic School (now there's ALOT of people laughing right
    now considering my lack of religious beliefs...yeah that it :p)....but 
I don't
    care....cause man them public schools stink *l*....but hey then again Julie
    saying if she could go back...she'd prefer a private school too...hmmm *l*
-- and well...back on that whiney rant....Alexei Kovalev is getting a few games
    off cause he apparently shot a puck at the refs at the end of the Carolina
    game...kinda fitting ain't it ?? :p...and with Barry Melrose nearby 
doing that
    Rangers/Red Wings beating yesterday....there may be some nasty stuff going
    on in the rafters :p

Today's Goalies:
=============
NJ: Brodeur (38-15-11, 2.30 gaa, 90.7%) team defense == 4th
Pit: Hedberg (1-1-1, 3.24 gaa, 89.2%) team defense == 26th

Special Teams Stats:
================
NJ pp: 61/284 (21.5%-4th), pk: 245/290 (84.5%-14th)
      shg for: 8, against: 6
Pit pp: 66/341 (19.4%-6th), pk: 297/363 (81.8%-23rd)
      shg for: 7, against: 10

Injuries/Scratches:
==============
NJ: Stevenson (ankle), Nemchinov (knee), Sutton
Pit: Oliwa (hammy), Snow (groin), Moran (broken thumb),
        Corbet (broken foot),  Kovalev (suspension), Dollas, Kucera

First Period
-------------------
-- our FIRST Melrose sighting as he embraces Kovalev in the  rafters rubbing
    his head....saying...it's ok Alex...you're still the most electrifying 
penguin in
    NHL entertainment.....you're MY Alex :)....aren't you ????  (God I'm 
evil *l*)
-- and there's Julie's lil Aubin...no knees and all standing on the 
bench...why ??
    he has NO KNEES...can't sit *l*
-- so much for splitting up the NHL's "Me-line" as Jagr and Lemieux start with
    ...does it matter ?? He ain't getting the puck :p
-- Lang...to Tibbetts on an unlikely 3 on 2....TIBUUTTS !!!...fires...Marty 
kicks
    wide !!!
-- and Chico missed Barnaby...don't worry Chico...he;ll be there and ass 
useless
    as ever on Tuesday :p
-- Mogilny....FLYING in...looks...FIRES...JUST MISSED HIGH !!!!
-- and the waffling begins :p

(1 - 0, Pit) Straka[25]  (Lang, Morozov) {3:49}
how does MOROZOV ALWAYS score on this team :p ???
Morozov.....up to Lang....sees Straka on his left and with a
step on his guy...that guy was Brylin BTW.....Lang sees
Straka with the step...feeds the pass....Straka kinda bobbles
it....but kicks it back to his stick....fires....Marty came across
but didn't see the bobbling and it was just enough to fool the
goalie kinda like when you don't get all of a big slapshot and it
rolls softly through the 5-hole :p

-- took my time writing that goal up and only missed a fanned one timer
    from McKay on the Holik pass with Rafalski cutting !!
-- hey look...it's a FERRET !!!! no wait...he's in Nashville....that's Ference
    Chico :P
-- Fidget...around the Ferret.....Alex scoops up the puck...give and go
    with Gomez....cycles....FIRED by Mogilny....Hedberg gets it right in the
    logo and YO-YO  ??? that's his NICKNAME ???? well the Yo-Yo covers
    on the Fidget !! :P
-- question ?...if Jagr bitches about his defensemen...WHO DOES HE BLAME
    NOW ?? :)

(1 - 1) Arnott[19] (Sykora) {8:00}
Jagr....scared by the SYKORA forecheck ??? heh...who knew ??? :p
anyway...Petrrrrrr steals....gives to Arnott in the slot with Elias
standing in front...who may get this goal later on :p...Arnott FIRES
Hedberg never sees it...and Hedberg fears the EA Sports line :)

-- and Wayne Primeau earns a "time out" for hooking :p
-- NJ pp:
    the horn goes off WAY too early as McKay to Mogilny goes wide :p
    Pens clear...but man can the Devils open up a team's defense on the
pp outlet....doesn't hurt when the team HAS NO defense :p..Rafalski...
fakes...heads up the middle.....to Elias...FLYING IN....shot...SAVE
HEDBERG !!!!
    Elias....to Rafalski...points to Arnott.....in front....spins...backhand
SAVE HEDBERG.....but EA SPORTS...they're in the game and it's
GAME ON !!!

(2 - 1, NJ) Rafalski[8-pp] (Elias, Arnott) {11:09}
Pens can't clear....that would be DEFENSE :P....Elias takes it back
after the Arnott near miss.....back to Rafalski who just walks in and
fires a relative softie past Hedberg on the far side, guess the goalie didn't
just realize there was THAT MUCH open net to his right !!!

-- Mogilny...over the line...FIRES...Hedberg wets his pants and nearly drops
    the puck as he covers for dear life on the trickler !!!
-- Hrdina...back to Jonsson...fires...save and cover Marty !!!
-- Elias...around 2 Pens HANGING ALL OVER him what was that about
    clutching and HOLDING....ahem..KASPER ?? :p....Elias...to Arnott...BULLS
    THROUGH....fires...SAVE HEDBERG !!!
-- and as play slows down I politely ask her NOT to give the team mascot and
    lucky penguin some Koval-loving on the bed.....don't ASK just visualize :p
-- and speaking of asses....Pandolfo off for tripping :p
-- Pit pp:
    after a series of disturbingly BAD passes from the Penguins Lemieux says
SCREW THIS...waits....winds....Stevens waits for the release to block....Mary-O
out waits....FIRES...but Marty eats up shot number THREE of the period :p
     Lemieux...waits.....thinks shot....takes pass....back to the 
Ferret...one timer
SAVE Marty....Madden clears...pp over....Pens double their shots for the period
up to FOUR :p
-- Beranek...hey, the mighty JoJo !!!.......with Primeau cutting down the 
left....and
    this is WHY no one checks him.....cause as Marty cuts across....Primeau
    does the Pandolfo and missed wide and Marty covers the bounce off the back
    boards !!!!
-- Morozov.....AGAIN makes the play to "A" Straka...hey wait..he HAS the A *l*
    ...he fires and missed wide of Marty and the net !!!!.....Straka and 
Lang....
    again...but again missed wide on the flurry !!! They got Rolston-itis !!!
-- Fidget leaves hobbling with a sore knee...but with 30 seconds left he goes
    to the locker room and only looks minor !! and the period ends with Marty
    covering a long shot to make FIVE for the period !!!

Second Period
------------------------
-- Devils even won 9 of the 11 faceoffs.....work ethic :p
-- McKay missed the breakout pass.....right to Lang....curls...fires...
    SAVE Marty with the high glove !!!
-- play going back and forth as me and Julie discuss our new Sykora fan friend
    we made last night....well Stephie disappeared again and we need SOMEONE
    to gossip about :p
-- and LARRY ROBINSON makes the glove save on a loose puck flying out
    of play....the problem is he ain't got a GLOVE...ouch !!!!
-- Sykora....Rafalski...WIDE OPEN 2 on 1....Sykora....waits...half a second TOO
    long...BACK TO RAFALSKI....GAPING EMPTY NET.....and it looks like he
    MISSED IT !!!...HOW !??!?!....oh.....he caught it high with his stick 
on the
    one-timer !!!
-- and the player screens the camera too :p

(2 - 2) Straka[26] (Lang, Morozov) {4:38}
Straka gives and goes from Lang along the right boards.....cuts behind
the net....Morozov in front.....Stevens to him.....Straka...dances....and
stick fakes...1..2....3....lobs in front...and I saw FIVE replays and I have
NO idea HOW this one ends in between Marty's legs.....but it did :P
Maybe Niedermayer did an old Fetisov and got his skate on it somehow ??

-- Corkum....Nemchinov...shoots....and Hedberg holds on !!!
-- and then the EA Sports line comes back with a SHIFT !!...Elias..off the
    post....loses his helmet...Sykora denied by Hedberg....Elias ponds away
    at the rebound and it's FINALLY iced after 30 seconds straight of Devil
    attack !!
-- you know...maybe the Rangers should get this Morozov guy....could help
    them end that streak thingy :)
-- Gomez/Mogilny and Brylin just follow that EA Sports effort with a hellacious
    forecheck and high cycle along the boards !!
-- Madden....McKay...through a player or 
two...Holik....follows....FIRES....save
    by the Hedberg !!!
-- Holik wins back to Stevens....cross to Rafalski...FIRES....off Jonsson and
    POUNCED on by Hedberg !!
-- Sykora...Nemchinov.....2 on 1.....Petr...shot..SAVE...Rafalski the follow
   cross to Elias...ROBBED HEDBERG who came flying across...BACK COMES
   JAGR...but STEVENS JUST SAYS NO SHOT FOR YOU !!!!!!!
-- Holik....shot...save...no one gets the rebound...White a nice keep...shoots
    McKay ends up blocking....but spins and reloads....fires...SAVE....ANOTHER
    rebound....Hedberg AGAIN sprawls across and despite leaving 3/4 of the net
    OPEN  makes the save !!!!
-- Lang...Morozov...AGAIN....back to Straka...GLOVE SAVE MARTY on the
    high shot !!!!
-- Lemieux...feels like some OFFENSE now....cuts...hands to that other
   guy on the "it's all about me line"......Hrdina...shoots....SAVE Marty who
    spins and kicks away !!!!
-- Rafalski...steals...Nemchinov fights through his man.....backhands...save
    Hedberg !!!!
-- like I said...send him to the Rangers :P

(3 - 2, Pit) Morozov[2] (Lang) {13:25}
god DAMMIT I shoulda added him today :p.....Morozov gets kinda forgotten
in front of the net as Lang went behind the net....Morozov ALL ALONE
in front...he looks...FIRES...and JUST got it past the diving pad of Marty
...it's AMAZING how some people just PERFORM on some people :p

-- Lang...Morozov...NOT THIS TIME Marty says while getting piled on !!!!
-- Arnott....back as the Pens change....backhand...stuff...save Hedberg !!!
-- Arnott...a steal...but Elias tripped on the blue line....and it's 
offsides.....as
   Stan Fischler calls STRAKA the "least likeable guy on the Penguins" ???
    WHAT ???.....I'd say Lemieux and Jagr with the whiny antics or even
    Kasper with the hits and low shots would be EASILY less likable...but then
   again I'm not old and bearded :P
-- Stevens...Arnott...fires.....again...both blocked by Laukkanen who must
    want a trade since he's playing defense :p
-- O'Donnell...shot...save..rebound...Mogilny..can't shove it home...Brylin...
    Alex again....but Devils forced offside !!!
-- Madden...Corkum...bad angle shot....Hedberg kicks it out and White misplays
    it at the blue line and there goes that offense !!!
-- Lemieux....Jagr....tried to return...but that play was well defended !!!
-- Nieds a GOD AWFUL clear with 8 seconds left...Hrdina throws down low...
    Lemieux tips...SAVE Marty as the period ends....and like I said all 
along...
    have the Devils played ONE complete game in the last 13 ??? I didn't
    think so :p....to be continued......

Third Period
-------------------
-- Stevens NOT happy in the VERY brief mid-period interview...looks like Scotty
    gonna go rip into some people.....let's see how it went eh ???
-- Jagr...around one check...problem is there are TWO Czechs on the ice :p
    ok...it was a BIT cheesy.....but HEY !!! as Lang deflects it out of 
play !!!
-- Daneyko thought he has Morozov lined up...but he's small and elbows
    him upside the head !!! *waves the Obi-Wan hand*  these aren't the Devils
    you're looking for Morozov !!!
-- Pit pp:
    Ference....fires...blocked and Madden JUST thought of bringing it back
but there were 3 Pens to deal with so he opts to dump and change.....
    Lang...as O'Donnell damn near trips over his own two feet in Souray like
style :p...Land back to Lemieux....shot...SAVE Marty !!!
    Jonsson...Straka...Lemieux...one timer...SAVE Marty and pp over !!!
-- well the good thing about this game slowing down is I can start looking
    for my hockey stuff...and Morozov DEAD ON THE ICE....go boom !! :)
    toodles Alexei !!!! on the MONSTER elbow from O'Donnell !!! That may be
    more than 2 folks !!!.....he gets the major and the misconduct !!!
-- Pit MAJOR pp:
    nice coaching strategy....put Pandolfo on the draw with Lemieux to try
to put that Pandolfo karma on him :p
    and Marty denies Ference on the point shot !!!!
    Jagr....rolls past Stevens...picked by Daneyko...but to Lemieux...back to
Ference....Ferret....fires...SAVE Marty...Kevin Stevens the follow..SAVE Marty
and penalty half done !!!
    Jonsson.....throws in front...Niedermayer cuts it off...Sykora kills 
time till
he runs out of room....the Elias a clear...90 seconds left !!!
    Ferret...flings in front...missed wide !!!! 1:10 left !!!!
    Morozov....Kevin Stevens....save Marty and kicked out Fidget !!!
   Rafalski soft tosses away.....35 seconds left !!!
   Lang...Lemieux...back to Lang...Stevens blocked PENALTY KILLED !!!!!!
-- and Julie waffles BACK to NJ :p
-- Arnott....gives to Mogilny....FIRES....kicked out Hedberg !!!
-- Nieds....Gomez....back to Mogilny.....cuts in...stops....he should went for
    the wraparound with all that traffic on that side...but he 
doesn't....Hedberg
    kicked it out...to the point...kept Holik....shot...blocked...Gomez...can't
    get to the rebound and it's cleared as MSG gotta catch up on commercials :p
-- Arnott...down low to Elias...Sykora in front...delayed call....pass 
intercepted
    and off goes Laukkanen for high sticking !!!
-- NJ pp:
    Rafalski....flings in front...Elias tips.....SAVE Hedberg !!! Rafalski 
AN AMAZING KEEP....SHOT...TOO HIGH !!!! RAFALSKI DOES IT AGAIN !!!!
this kid is amazing !!!! JUMPS up....to Elias....SAVE HEDBERG !!!!!!!
    Stevens...Nieds...FIRES....tipped and out of play....Devils are making
some AMAZING plays keeping the puck at the point !!!
    Morozov...shoulder fake....GOOD BYE as Rafalski back drops him !!!!!!!!!
Raffie layeth the smacketh DOWN on his Commie ass !!!!!!
    Arnott.....Sykora....shot...SAVE....rebound...Sykora can't grab and the
pp ends !!!
-- Lemieux....gets a step....Niedermayer TRYING to stay step for step but
    Mary-O has the REACH...makes the move....and it looks a bit too casual
    a move as he just fakes....and without really looking like he's trying 
flips a
    soft backhand....and MARTY WITHOUT LOOKING JUST WILLS THE LEG
    OUT TO HOLD ON TO THE PUCK !!!!!! Geesh...you'd think you'd TRY on
    that :p
-- and lookit Mary-O standing in disbelief *l* "who is your daddy and what does
    he do ???" *smirk* thank you Marty :)
-- Sykora OUT OF NOWHERE (well from the bench :p).....Elias the PERFECT
    PASS....INCOMING CHIA CZECH !!!...looks....goes across...backhands....
    SAVE HEDBERG who didn't know where it was but he HAS IT !!!
-- Rafalski...ROCKET off the draw....SAVE HEDBERG !!!
-- Elias...Arnott...SYKORA...SWARMING...denied Hedberg....Stevens the
    follow...SAVE HEDBERG and Hrdina ICES IT to buy time with Jagr on the
    ice and his hands and knees begging for mercy....or maybe just a 
stoppage :p
-- Gomez...back to Nieds....steps...FIRES...SAVE Hedberg and ICED AGAIN
    with about 2 minutes left !!!
-- Devils go with the #1 pp unit and Marty to the bench....
    Elias.....Sykora...in front...JUST WIDE SHORT SIDE !!!!! And McKay can't
get the follow !!!!! 1:00 left !!!
    McKay...Rafalski....shot...blocked Hrdina and cleared with 29 seconds 
left !!!
    well the "Cardiac Devils" gonna make this interesting ain't they ??? *l*
    ****time out Devils*****
    Marty back to the bench.....Elias....Rafalski.....he FANS....and well this
is that :p

(4 - 2) Lang[31-en] (Straka) {19:56}
empty net....goal....and oh well.....I'm not gonna scream about the streak
ending cause it's a regular season thing....and nothing means jack till
the playoffs :p...but it was kinda funny to throw the Marty jersey I had been
wearing all streak long basically right in Julie's mush so she can bring it to
Detroit :P....actually I'm mildly relieved it's over....I'd have been too 
nervous
if this thing had carried to the playoffs !!!!

Shots on Goal:  1 + 2 + 3  == total:
=============================
Devils:              6 + 12 + 9 == 27
Pens:               5 + 10 + 5 == 20

Power Plays:
==========
NJ: 1 / 2
Pit:  0 / 3

Att: 19,040

The Three Stars of the Dungeon !!
==========================
3. Brian Rafalski...had one of those complete games...BIG hits....a goal
     NICE keeps on the pp...he did everything tonight !!!!
2. Johan Hedberg....another damn foreigner on this team :p...was everywhere
    tonight and good goaltending can fill the BIGGEST of defensive holes at
    times....he stole this game !!!
1. Robert Lang.....4 points nuff said !!!

      Well next game's in Tampa....and since it would take two months
to get a recap back from Mandy on it :p and since Julie can't get the
Wednesday game which I will get to when I get home in that epic
Atlanta Thrasher struggle (hey two road games in a row we got fans
and readers at *smirk*)....anyway...I give Julie Tuesday so I can beat
my head with the Microsoft book and get to it on Wednesday !!
*start of sig file begins here....for the technolgically impaired :)*

                *********************************************
           oh yeah....my homepage....live it...love it....KNOW IT !!!!

                  http://www.geocities.com/crasher21

to see Julie's less than stable recaps :)
             http://www.angelfire.com/nj2/hockeywitch/index.html

lots of cool on line and gizmos and stuff :)
            http://www.kerriswarehouse.com


this is the beginning of my sig file....these are just quotes I have picked
up over the years and find them fitting...and most of you don't read THIS far
anyway :)...and for the most the quotes below have been here so long that I
prolly don't even REMEMBER what's here !!!!!

"It's not a wide-open game, which they would love. If
we're not allowed to hit and if we're not allowed to
check, I'm going to come back, too. I'm going to make
a comeback. I'm going to play in this league if nobody
touches me. If no one backchecks on me, and if they
let me make plays and shoot on the net and get 2-on-1's
and breakaways, I'm going to go back and play. I could
play for fun, but I know I'm going to get killed if
we play for real."

Wild coach and Hall of Fame former player Jacques
Lemaire responding to complaints by Pittsburgh players
that Minnesota's defensive-style turns off fans.
The Wild, by the way, have sold out every one of
their home games this season.


"For Kevin Dean (who couldn't cut it on 2 different teams this season) to be
on our first pairing of defensemen is pretty scary. While it's nice that he
got a goal, I can't help but be reminded that even a blind squirrel finds
an acorn"
-- Rob, Chi BlackHawks email list 2/14/2000

There is a line that many comedians use:
"If you didn't offend someone, you weren't funny"
(I LIVE by this phrase !!)

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.  Remember, when
someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only
takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside
the head...pass it on.....

Avalanche coach Bob Hartley said he received a "love you" e-mail. "I opened 
up my e-mail (Friday) morning and I got one of those 'I love you' notes," 
Hartley said. "I opened it and I was very disappointed. I thought it was 
from Scotty (Bowman)."

"I save money.  I clip coupons.  AND I AM A HETEROSEXUAL MALE!"
~David Ross Johnson, as the guest of honor at a Cale Hulse fan club meeting  :)