[Devils-list] Blues.....Avs....glove THIS Roman !!!!

[DevAngel Publishing]

the CRASHER line
----------------------------
      Most people have hobbies.....things they do to calm down and relax
and blow out some aggravations and tensions....well for me it's St Louis
bashing....and well I should get a GOLDEN opportunity tonight as Patrick
Roy take that Campbell Trophy and shove it right UP ST LOUIS' ASS :P

Pre-Game Notes:
=============
-- Well Julie didn't wanna do this game.....and since I am the banner child
    for holding the St Louis grudge :p.....and instead of typing it ALL again
    here I refer you to behind the Recaps Year 5....so yes I can be a bitter
    man....but it serves me...and my readers well :P.....so for the 
not-so-quick
    reason behind this....just click :)
    http://www.geocities.com/crasher21/BTR/99_00.html
-- I like the way Julie described Turek's Game 4 performance in this series
    as a 78-second brain cramp....in which he let in 3 goals...and well I could
    say ALOT here but I won't :p, let's just remind dear Roman that the lil
    black one IS the puck...and I know what St Louis can do to a man...but
    it's been kinda funny to see him give up goals like it's Randy McKay
    chain smoking some buds after a game *l*
-- anyway...to make this short....if Turek can stop a FEW, the Blues can
    avoid the obligatory Wings ala Roy served up with Blues Cheese, and the
    fact that ABC has etched in stone that the Cup Finals don't start for a 
WEEK
    regardless (I hate fucking networks :p)....it won't be so bad !!
-- good rule of thumb....if I keep rewinding the scene in Independence Day 
where
    they FRY NY and I keep cheering....LEAVE....it's a bad bad mood :p

Tonight's Goalies....or mild facsimile of one :p
==================================
Col: Roy (11-4, 1.79 gaa, 93.0%) rings = 3
StL: Turek (9-5, 2.05 gaa, 91.9%) soft goals = 17

Special Teams Stats:
================
Col: 5/18 (all long shots :p)
StL: 3/16 (none from former Red Wings....or ex-linemates of Jeremy Roenick !)

Injuries/Scratches:
==============
Col: Foppa (fried spleen: no fries :p),  Klemm (knee),  Parker, Sauve,
        Pratt, Muir
StL: Nash (knee surgery from kicking Turek in helmet), Finley, Gusarov (scrub),
        Corso, Bartecko, Reirden,  Low (ARMY of scrubs !!), Simpson (hands of
        stone...head of cement !)

and well since Julie was SUPPOSED to do this :p
....Top Ten Reasons St. Louis swept Dallas in the Western Semifinals
10.Moo(dano) out grazing, nursing injured leg
9.Dogboy heard Sykora had scored, got confused
8.Hitchcock made deal with Quennville-they'd lose willingly if Brent 
Johnson  didn't see any ice time
7. A-Rod signed with Rangers, nobody cares about hockey in Texas
       anymore
  6. Brett Hull got confused, shot on wrong net
5.Dallas had very important charity golf tournament to attend
4.Turek told he could only practice his favorite hobby-sleeping-after they
     won. Too bad he hasn't woken up yet.
3. Belfour worried if they'd beaten St. Louis, LA would have beaten Colorado.
2.Belfour didn't want to take chance on having to return to New Jersey !!
  1. Mellanby just too much for Stars to handle

First Period
------------------
-- surprise.....SURPRISE !!! NO TUREK tonight.....Brent Johnson starts at
    the VERY last of seconds :p...must have missed some long ones in
    the warmups....so Johnson makes his NHL playoff debut !!
-- Melrose still lusts and salivates over Blues....just goes to add to what
    I said about St Louis :)
-- and lookit Roman getting that "quality massage" on the bench *l*
-- gee.....Levy so smart....you THINK THE BLUES ARE WEARING BLUE ??
    twit :p
-- Mayers....down the right....shoots...missed the net...Turek mumbles
    "I coulda stopped THAT :p"
-- feels weird to NOT be updating to my homepage :p
-- 2:00...no goals.....maybe Avs should shoot at Turek on bench for
    deflections ??
-- Eastwood.....Finley....shot....tipped...SAVE Roy...dripping Blue Cheese !!
-- Yelle....down the wing on the transition....looks......Blake jumps in...
    tips.....Johnson gets a piece !!
-- Sakic....wheels to Hejduk....back to Skoula....point shot...Johnson gets to
    feel the rubber !!!! :p
-- Blake...the MONSTER SHOT off the draw....and Johnson is NOT wearing
    Turek's pads for DAMN sure :p
-- Sakic.....takes from Pronger...walks in....shot...PAST JOHNSON AND OFF
    THE POST !!!.....back comes...PIERRE....to Young....and well we all know
    about Scott's kinda luck in St Louis *l*
-- Drake LEVELS a man at center ice....in comes Demitra....but well he's
    the Pandolfo of the Blues :p
-- Drury...past yet ANOTHER Blue...looks....cuts...shot..SAVE....spins...
    rebound...blocked !!! Johnson delusions of Marty-Hedberg-dom :p
-- Upchuck...big shot...blocked Nieminen !!!!....but Hinote off for high 
sticking
    kinda fitting :)
-- StL pp:
    MacInnis...cross to Pronger....shot....squirts wide....Avs clear...
    Devils preview for Game 4 tomorrow....Levy whining about Marty's double
shutouts...this is why we sent you to COLORADO ass....watch the game
as Roy makes a save on Upchuck with NO STICK !!!!!
    Pronger...MacInnis....FUMBLE !!!....Roy shuffles for his stick !!!
    Demitra....Khavanov....shot...off Roy....going wide anyway :P
    Khavanov....STILLMAN IN FRONT....but I'm PATRICK ROY and YOU'RE NOT 
!!!..and golf reservations available on the way out the door !!!! ....pp 
over !!!
-- Pronger out for trying pull down Podein...to quote an ICQ 
sound...STOOPID !!!
-- Col pp:
    Levy "Melrose-ing" over the Avs pp :p
    OOF....Upchuck took one in the much during the Boo's pp....and well that
won't be pretty when they go home for team pics tonight :P
    Skoula.....Drury...spins...no look backhand stuff....Johnson the pad 
save !!!
    pp ends...Blues looking for inaccurate reception of their own :p
-- Messier.....missed....right to Yelle....confused by the RIGHT handed goalie
    and missed the puck !!! :p
-- and there's Forsberg in his spleen-friendly seat...no spicy food for HIM 
*l*
-- Julie points out Foppa eating fries....NO CHEESE...or Salsa :p
-- and me and Julie trade odd looks about Pronger MISSING Forsberg to
    compete against in this series ??? Always better to know who beats you :)
-- Avs only 4 shots in 14:00...they miss Roman to go back to the Pang thing :)
-- and Pronger off for elbowing....I see where all of Holik's NoGoaliking has
    gone too :p
-- Col pp:
    Skoula...Foote....nope...Reinprecht......in front....SAVE Johnson...
Blues never get past the hash.....Foote...DRURY ON THE DOORSTEP...
SAVE...REBOUND....LOOSE....NUMMINEN FALLS ON THE PUCK
AND MAKES THE SAVE ???? Wait...he's AN AV...idiot :p...no goal
and it was a hand pass...the net came off....and the NHL wants a good
series...all those excuses :p
     Numminen should put the pads on for the Blues :P
     Bourque....Foote....shot....nay !!
     3....2...1.....boy that pp was a MESS :p
-- the Avs have BRYAN MUIR ??? Ex-Devil ??? Ex-HAWK ??? eeww :P
-- Young...Rheaume...long shot...denied Roy !!
-- Mellanby...oops.....in comes Hejduk......Bourque...but it's swatted away
    as the first is SCORELESS ???
-- MacInnis...long shot....but that was as pointless as people asking me if
    I'm sleeping with Hillary again and both me and Roy scream NO :p
    period over !!!

Second Period
-----------------------
-- and Scott does some minor spleen surgery on someone not named
    Forsberg in the intermission....never been good at subtile :p
    but then again....it's never been fun that way honey :)....and it's showing
    me an interesting perspective on the pure trust Mandy has in me and
    what happens when people ain't as secure in things *l* (no honey that's
    NOT a bash *G*)
-- either this intermission is real long....or it's just the whining :P
-- PIERRE...shot..SAVE Roy...and for the first time in eons Raw is interesting
    and I AM MISSING IT...damn you St Louis :p...hey...Boos are on a pp !!!
    Blake was called for tripping at the buzzer !!
    epp I missed the whole pp...damn ICQ :p
-- Sakic...Hejduk....and I am wasting all my good sarcasm in the damn
    ICQs :p
-- Hejduk....fumble.....Bourque the follow...SAVE BY JOHNSON...Avs are
    warming up as the whining gets ANNOYING :p...geesh....Staten Islanders
    whine like Penguins :p
-- Numminen....SAVE Johnson.....Bourque...Drury....SAVE JOHNSON
    and Numminen drilled in front by I think MacInnis :p
-- Col pp:
    BLAKE LETS IT FLY after stepping in off the draw...but Johnson sees
it and he's NO TUREK !!!
    Bourque....next draw....SAVE Johnson !!.....Blues keep clearing...penalty
over....and I had a whiney headache...again :p....I'm too old for this :p
-- game has NO flow and then players brawling in front of Johnson who scoops
    the pick as shoves fly !!
-- But Hill got one extra shot in and the cross check on Podein sends him
    to time out !!...Did I ever mention I love the music they play in 
Colorado ??
-- Col pp:
    Blake....shot....Hedjuk....in front...looks...RIPS IT OFF JOHNSON AND
WIDE.....Avs OWNING the faceoffs !!
    Johnson more delusions of Marty...clears twice...and the Blues a quick
scare but Roy keeps it calm....his posts would be angered :P
     Blake....cuts in.....for Tanguay.....THERE'S SAKIC IN FRONT....save....
REBOUND TO FOOTE BUT JOHNSON DOES THE CARTWHEELS AND
HANGS ON !!!!
     and well he can't stop them ALL !!

(1 - 0, Col) Hedjuk[7-pp] (Blake, Bourque) {11:20}
Tanguay....Bourque....over to Blake all alone in the
dot...Sakic cuts across....Hejduk in front....shot...
save....rebound...loose...and Cafe Milan stuffs it
under Johnson !!!!!

-- Sakic....the moving wrister....but Johnson's glove matches !!!
-- Mayers....Stillman...winds a shot...but miles wide....but hey this
    city never did go away easy :p

(1 - 1) Salvador[2] (Stillman. Mellanby) {13:31}
Mayers holds along the side....behind the net to Stillman...who
looks...Roy plays the wraparound....NO ONE saw Salvador
come in from the point....Roy BADLY out of position and
Salvador rips one past the famous Roy glove....he's never been
a Red Wing :p

-- Blues 3 on 2 broken up...Hejduk....cross rink....Drury....head of steam
    ....over the line...FIRES...but Salvador dives and sticks it away !!!
-- Foote....off the draw...PILE in front...but Johnson recovers after
    almost bouncing if off Dingman in front !!
-- Bourque....off the draw....cuts free...looks...Hejduk in front...ends up
    blocking the damn thing !!! I'm due a wisecrack :P
-- Hejduk....Blake....2 on 1....never THINKS pass....but the big oaf...errr
    Pronger was in the way.....so Cafe Milan HAD to shoot and Johnson eats
    it up denying the short side !!!
-- Numminen....down the left...has a step...fires....save Johnson...this 
guy's
    boring....he STOPS the puck :P
-- Foote gets called for ....being checked by Mayers ??? WHAT ???
-- StL pp:
    Young....Khavanov....fires....save...PIERRE !!....Save ROY....Upchuck the
follow...but he's not used to playing hockey this late in the year !!!
     Pronger....MacInnis...but the key is that Roy STILL means FUCK YOU
ST LOUIS in French !!!!
     Pronger....blocked....cleared Drury !!!
     Blues can't find the zone with a MAP....period over !!!

Third Period
-------------------
-- the Blues have 13 seconds of pp left....and maybe one more period ???
    but the Avs win that draw....pp over...
-- Eastwood.....Mellanby....in front....couldn't do it as a Panther....and
    sure as hell can't get one past Roy now !! :p
-- *still can't get over the BIRDS in the second intermission as they panned
     the Denver sunset with birds chirping through the commercial*
-- Skoula....off the draw.....shot....save....rebound Cafe Milan....but swats
    low and wide !!!
-- Drake....long shot...kicked out Roy....and it's a milk 
carton...no...it's Pavol
    Demitra :P
-- centered in front...Numminen......shot..SAVE Johnson but he was pulled
    down and off goes Khavanov !!
-- Col pp:
    Avs a high cycle....for the cross ice pass...back to Bourque....Blake right
to the front of the net...Bourque....shot...OFF Blake and cleared !!
    Drury.....Numminen.....FLYING through the slot.....shot...blocked...,
kicked down Drury......but we have a whistle and the SWEET Drury move
is denied on the Numminen/MacInnis tangle where they both get penalties !!!
-- Avs pp still on:
    Hejduk...Sakic.....past Pronger...SAVE Johnson !!!!
    Bourque cuts in...FIRES....SAVE JOHNSON !!!!!!!! Roman Turek filling
out McDonald's applications :P....pp over !!!
-- Stillman leaves the ice hurting....PIERRE down the wing...fires.....far
    side....Roy makes the blocker stop !!!....Blake FLYING in again but the
    pass is off !!
-- Upchuck....Demitra....center...NO chance :p.....Messier....loses...Upchuck
    AGAIN...SAVE ROY.....DEMITRA IN FRONT AND ROY FLASHES THE
    FUCK YOU ST LOUIS STYLE LEATHER ON THE BIG REBOUND ACROSS
    THE POST....PA plays "Another Brick in the wall" Demitra wants one upside
    the HEAD :p
-- and Julie comment !!!....you will eat your fucking wings ala Potvin and 
here's
    your goddamned blue cheese !!!!!
-- good to see Julie jawing back *l*...go SIT down, and SHUT up, and hear
     the millions... and millions of fans in the arena chant  the great 
one's name...
     ROY....ROY....ROY....ROY... SAY MY NAME MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!
-- Young....another long high hard one....but the name Scott...and St Louis
    HERO...not again :p
-- and with 6:36 we are as we begun with me just more sleepier :P
-- Foote....centers....Tanguay....in front....but he lives with Roy...so he's
    not allowed to score as two Blues send him flying through the net !
-- Foote and Upchuck begin to push and shove as Upchuck takes offense to
    the fact that Foote's making fun of him for never getting this far in 
the
    playoffs before....time out's for all !!
-- 4 on 4:
    Sakic....Bourque...ALL ALONE WITH GLORY ON HIS STICK....Ray....
looks...FLIPS.....but JOHNSON HAS SOME OF THE HASEK MAGNETIC
FIELD AND THE GLOVE....and the asses in Colorado playing MYYYY
Goldberg theme from myyyy homepage :p
    Pronger...Khavanov....shot....save Roy.....Avs come back....Drury....
rebound...BLAKE CUTS IN AND JOHNSON THE DELUSIONAL SAVE A LA
ROY !!!
     Young.....shot...but Roy hugs the post....and players go free....
3:36 from this being a LONG night :P
-- Roy hugs and loves post a lil too long....think he was grabbing a feel :)
-- Mayers....bulls through behind the net....shows his package ???
    why were you looking THERE levy ??? Roy wasn't :p...makes the save !!!
-- Upchuck and Blake tossed to the ice...*snicker* that's fucking BRILLIANT
    with your YEAR on the line...Khavanov off for a DOUBLE high stick which
    if NEEDED *hint hint* goes to overtime.....dumbass :P and only 2:16 to 
go :p
-- Col pp #1:
    but of course if the Blues kill......that's for another recap :P
    Julie pulling EVERY SportsBitch-ism on the planet :p
    1:00 left....Avs FINALLY get it in !!!
    that was one SORRY pp....and we're going at LEAST 4 tonight :P

Overtime
-------------
-- and a note that the Blues are 0-2 now with me recapping the game
    with their backs against the wall...Western Conference...I AM for hire :)
-- see what I get for only having 2 hours sleep :p
    Col pp:
     well it was fast....it was fair....it was OVER !!!!

(2 - 1, AVS!!!) Sakic[9-pp] (Blake, Hejduk) 0:24}
Blues win the draw and Pronger fires it down.....but Blake picks up
the dump in and off they go !!!.....Avs dump in and wind it along
the boards......back cross point to Blake....who lets it GO.....
Johnson the save......the FATAL REBOUND...and there's
Mister every award in the NHL...rebound...SCORE !!!! Johnson...
was good....but he's still St Louis...and they will have NO SUCH JOY !!!

Shots on Goal:       1 +  2  +  3 + 4  == total
==================================
Dev...err....Avs:      8 + 18 +   8 + 2 ==  36
Blues:                   7  +  7 + 15 + 0 == 29

Power Plays:
==========
Col: 2 / 6
StL: 0  / 3

My Three Stars:
============
3. Milan Hejduk....goal.....assist...VICTORY !!!
2. Brent Johnson.....he was good....but one less :p
1. Joe Sakic....you know the rules....OT game winner = hero !!

My Three Stars of the Series:
======================
3. Raymond Bourque....he scored a bunch of goals...and I have a heart
     dammit :p
2. Joe Sakic.....7 points....THE winner and well a star who shows up
     *ahem* a star INDEED !!!
1. Patrick Roy....he IS fuck you St Louis....he was AMAZING....ironically
     at his best in the one LOSS....and he's back and the East Winner (of
    COURSE the Penguins :p) will have their hands FULL :p

My Three Goats of the Series:
=======================
3. Keith Tkachuk....only time he showed up was on the penalty sheet :p
2. Pavol Demitra.....only time HE showed up was on a milk carton :p
1. Roman Turek...Jay Pandolfo could have scored hat tricks on this sieve
     in this series....he'll be run outta town for sure....but HE will get 
a ride
     to the airport :P

       Well gee....guess what.....Julie got us tickets for tomorrow night :p
prolly better this way since the Devils series needs to go 6 games anyway :p
but the recap will be out and away Wed night unless of course I go out
dancing...err....no...wrong person :p....I'm the one who just doesn't sleep
...oh yeah....well if I don't...I'll recap :)



*start of sig file begins here....for the technolgically impaired :)*

                *********************************************
           oh yeah....my homepage....live it...love it....KNOW IT !!!!

                  http://www.geocities.com/crasher21

to see Julie's less than stable recaps :)
             http://www.angelfire.com/nj2/hockeywitch/index.html

lots of cool on line and gizmos and stuff :)
            http://www.kerriswarehouse.com


this is the beginning of my sig file....these are just quotes I have picked
up over the years and find them fitting...and most of you don't read THIS far
anyway :)...and for the most the quotes below have been here so long that I
prolly don't even REMEMBER what's here !!!!!

"It's not a wide-open game, which they would love. If
we're not allowed to hit and if we're not allowed to
check, I'm going to come back, too. I'm going to make
a comeback. I'm going to play in this league if nobody
touches me. If no one backchecks on me, and if they
let me make plays and shoot on the net and get 2-on-1's
and breakaways, I'm going to go back and play. I could
play for fun, but I know I'm going to get killed if
we play for real."

Wild coach and Hall of Fame former player Jacques
Lemaire responding to complaints by Pittsburgh players
that Minnesota's defensive-style turns off fans.
The Wild, by the way, have sold out every one of
their home games this season.


"For Kevin Dean (who couldn't cut it on 2 different teams this season) to be
on our first pairing of defensemen is pretty scary. While it's nice that he
got a goal, I can't help but be reminded that even a blind squirrel finds
an acorn"
-- Rob, Chi BlackHawks email list 2/14/2000

There is a line that many comedians use:
"If you didn't offend someone, you weren't funny"
(I LIVE by this phrase !!)

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.  Remember, when
someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only
takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside
the head...pass it on.....

"Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I shall fear
no Evil for tho art wi...HOLY SHIT !!!"
--Shane Willis' last words 4/15/2001

"I save money.  I clip coupons.  AND I AM A HETEROSEXUAL MALE!"
~David Ross Johnson, as the guest of honor at a Cale Hulse fan club meeting  :)